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jackerbudchgo:

popperpignet:

by @popperpignet

Did you know that whatever you can think of, someone is into it sexually? (Isn’t that like Rule 34 of the internet or something?) Once people find other people who are in to their same thing, whole communities are formed (bears, leather daddies, pups, etc). Men who masturbate together are called “bators”.

Bators have their own sexual subculture with rituals, lingo, preferences, etc that often aren’t based on classically hetero-normative ideas of dom/sub or top/bottom. The lingo is one part frat, one part Masonic lodge, and one part temple whore, which might give a hint to what bator men value – intimacy, brotherhood and a celebration of sexuality related mostly to the penis and masturbation.

Like other sexual subcultures, the more people that become interested add something to the mix and the culture evolves.  Some bators identify as solosexual, and are only into masturbating themselves.  Others are into mutual masturbation with one or more partners.  Some bators enjoy giving or getting oral stimulation, and still others enjoy anal stimulation while masturbating.  There are bators who enjoy edging (stimulating themsleves as long as they can) and there are bators into cum denial (edging with the goal being NOT to ejaculate or orgasm to completion). 

Bate culture also has other terms for various activities that can happen when one or more men masturbate.  Some bators enjoy gooning, a trance or meditative state- tongue hanging out, wild-eyed grunting and groaning incoherently. Sometimes this overlaps with something called monkeybating, which is gooning (faces and sounds) to the point of tapping into some really primal part of yourself where you lose all sexual shame you’ve been taught and just enjoy the pleasure derived from your penis. (Note to gooners and monkeybators – this is just an intro piece, I’ll post more on gooning later!)

Various jerk off parties have sprung up around the country, from the perennial New York Jacks to smaller informal house parties or even smaller groups.The rules of engagement usually involve an agreement of no penetration and no drug use, though individual bators or specific parties may arrange group events where oral is allowed, or poppers/weed use, for example. But most Jacks parties will draw crowds of men into various levels of comfort and exploration with bate culture, from the very new to the seasoned veterans (sometimes into “coaching”).

Poppers, (originally amyl nitrite) were originally used as a medication to relieve chest pain.  Poppers dilate the blood vessels, giving you a rush of stimulation to wherever you happen to be focused.  Some people enjoy poppers to relax for anal activity while some bators use them to focus the pleasure to the penis, called popperbating. While relatively harmless, poppers can cause a drop in blood pressure, and should not be used with viagra or any other medications that might also affect blood pressure, or by people who already have blood pressure problems.  

Like poppers, some bators enjoy smoking weed or cigarettes while bating, either as a sexually charged act in and of itself and/or because of the pleasure derived from the substance. This can also be said of poppers, alcohol and other substances, though again, many Jacks parties do not welcome the use of substances that might detract from the camaraderie and focus of the event.

Many find that bator culture transcends hetero/homo/bi sorts of labels, similar to fetish or kink communities that aren’t really about the sex of your partner. There are men who enjoy masturbating together who identify as gay, queer, bisexual, pansexual, awesomesexual, asexual, heteroflexible, heterosexual, questioning, curious, confused and probably hundreds of other terms. What bators generally can agree on, however, is that masturbation can be celebrated as enriching a sexual activity as any other, and the best part is that you have all of the basic equipment.

While many bators adopt a sort of dude/bro language, don’t let that language fool you – bating isn’t about normalizing any one particular sexual identity or male chauvinism or even about bro culture. If anything, it’s an acknowledgment and a reclamation of brotherhood and fraternity in the truest sense of the words.  Some folks (women who masturbate together?) might celebrate the sex goddess within and find empowerment in that, which is rad- and bator men have an overarching brotherhood, with smaller, deeper brotherhoods and groups within bate culture, which is also pretty radical.  

So for the curious among you, here’s your first bator expression – Hail Penis – because if anything needs to be worshipped, it’s your own cock. You’ll find this expression useful when you’re so transfixed on your penis that words begin to fail you and you just start to babble about penis. http://popperpig.net

I’m proud to masturbate. #realmenmasturbate #bateproud #bateevangelist

fuckyeahfriendlyfire:

I always meant to write to you to tell you that because of your blog, I found my own stroke buddy a couple of years ago.  We only meet and hang out a few times a year, but when we do, it’s fun. 😉

This guy was the first (and probably only guy) I’ve experimented with, and I’m so thankful that I sought out the opportunity.  Prior to finding a safe stroke bud to experiment with, I was always at least a little insecure about my sexuality.  

Now, I’ve basically tried pretty much everything I was always curious about.  Some things I liked, other things weren’t for me.  But I gave myself permission to let go of all the fucking stigmas and just experience what I’ve always wondered about.

It was literally a transformative experience.  And I’m a much more confident man for it.  I’m so much more intimately familiar with MYSELF, and I love myself for everything that I am.  Because in experiencing those things, I learned that whatever I wanted to do “was just fine”, and the world didn’t end.  It was like, “huh… Wow… That was cool.  AND fun.  And I’m pretty much the same person I was before.  Soooo…  No big deal.”  

Ironically, that epiphany WAS a big deal, at it was exactly what I needed to solidify who I was.

The benefit to my relationships and sexual confidence is profound.  When you let go of preconceived notions, what you end up with can be very different than the stuff you made up in your head.  I guess the most accurate “category” I can describe myself is heteroflexible.  And even then, it’s a little more complex to explain (as everyone’s singular sexuality can be rather unique if you try to break everything down and unpack everything out of the arbitrary box).  I’d only really ever experiment with my stroke bud if I ever get a curiosity to try something new.  

But if I ever found another stroke buddy (which would be cool), I know myself now to understand that I’d be best served to keep it as male bonding through stroke, and that’s it.

My romantic preference is women, investing that duality of emotional and physical connections.  But I also really enjoy male bonding in the way of enjoying porn from time to time.  Doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.  And it really opens the door for future experimentation such as threesomes and moresomes.  And I can appreciate and confidently tell another man whether they look attractive without feeling creepy or weird about it.  I’ve complimented my male coworkers numerous times on their style or if I noticed that they’ve been working out; they always took it as a compliment, and not some kind of insecure advance.  

A big part of their acceptance is that I’m secure and confident – and they feel it, and are able to also mimic that secure and confident energy.

So it goes without saying that knowing myself much more intimately has helped my friendships with my male friends tremendously, because now I really understand my feelings much more, and I’m unafraid of building intimate bonds with my bros without worrying about it being “weird”.  A strong emotional connection is a strong emotional connection should transcend gender – and it doesn’t HAVE to be sexual.  And even if it goes there, so the fuck what?  

We’re human beings, and we’re all designed to connect in every way, no matter what kind of physical equipment you were born with.

Anyway, just like my blog, I could keep going all night.  I just needed to do my part and tell you about another “success story” that was inspired from stories told through your blog.  More men should allow themselves to jump in, have fun, and just see which part of the pool they love to swim in most.

Wow.  Thank you so damn much for this.  This is hands-down one of the VERY best messages I’ve ever received, from a FFollower who has requested to remain anonymous.  I swear, FY!FF has some of the most evolved, heart-centered FFollowers on tumblr (and on the interwebz) and I’m grateful for each and every one of you.  It’s notes like these that solidify why I’ve been doing this thing for FIVE years now.  This shit means the world, man.  And I’m even MORE happy for you and how confidently and assuredly you speak of your experiences and sexuality.  

And what’s awesome is the ripple effect your actions create: just because you are shining your own light so brightly and confidently, you unconsciously give other men permission to do the same.  Men who’ve never even heard of FY!FF, and may never hear of it.  When they see other men walking in their power like you now are, they think, “wow, I want what that dude has!”  That’s what this is all about.  We are all connected.  And we’re all in this together.  Thanks for joining me on this journey, my friends.  Love y’all, mean it.

-trey

This post rings true for me, although I’m aware that I don’t have this guy’s capacity to play outside of my sexual identity. The experiences I’ve had with women simply haven’t turned me on and still don’t. Still, what I’ve observed in men who identify as straight and bi, men who come to JO clubs and masturbate with other men, bears out this capacity to experience sexual pleasure and personal connection with other men regardless of identity alone. For certain levels of sexual play, I no longer believe it is necessary or honest to claim that one is gay in order to enjoy that play and benefit from it beyond pleasure alone.

I’ve thought for a while that human nature is both more complex than we imagine it to be, and more simple. The bottom line for me is that individuals can free themselves of doubt, shame and worry by simply trying those things which we’re both attracted to and frightened of. We want them simply because we want them but we fear them because they threaten an idea of who we are that stands in the way of being who we are.

— Paul

Yes, it is true! I am meeting with leaders of the CSPC and FSPC this Monday to discuss all the details and I’ve secured interim event dates through February to keep us jacking happily along until then.

I haven’t seen the new space yet and I know that the team from the Center is going to be building it out to be fully suitable for all that they do. I have no doubt that it is going to work very well for us and accommodate our needs as well. My work for the next few months will be to ensure that our membership has everything it needs to bring us to the next level (whatever that means).

Anybody who wants to help Rain City Jacks make the move successful and sustain our relationship with our fantastic host organization should consider giving a donation to the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture (as I do). If you do support them with a donation, there is a place to leave a note. I encourage you to mention that you’re donating in support of Rain City Jacks and our shared vision.

Also, donations to the FSPC are tax-deductible and eligible for corporate matching funds… I’m just saying…