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Talk and Action
Sometime in the early-aughts, I was at a Seattle Pride post-parade rally and noticed one particular chant getting a lot of play out there in Volunteer Park. “Safe Sex is Great Sex!!!” As they have been for years now, condoms were as plentiful as pollen at the Pride festivities. Indeed, condoms are a common presence…
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So, earlier today I was on Bate World and I came across this pic with two men featured on it. One guy was shaved and one guy had a full on natural bush. I personally thought both were hot in their own way. But what turned me off – well, lets say pissed me off – was the caption on the photo that said “real men have pubs” and then there was a red thumbs down on the hairless guy and a green thumbs up on the natural guy. I am sure this has been discussed over and over, but why does this have to be so mean? Why can’t it be about the beauty of the male form, so with hair and other’s without? Full disclosure – I prefer guys that do not shave down, but I sure as hell would not pass up a full on wank with a guy simply because he shaves his pubs off. Am I alone here? As a masturbater isn’t it about the penis and the pleasure it gives us, not the hair or lack there of that surrounds it?
You know, Adam, I have two biases on this subject: My personal taste and my position as leader of a diverse sexual community. I think both positions agree with you. The short answer is no, it doesn’t have to be so mean, but the individual who posted that pic has some energy about what specifically…
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Fantasy
Fantasy I like this piece at salon.com about fantasy. I didn’t say I agree with all of it, but it’s a great piece to start a conversation about what our brains do with sex… And I especially disagree that National Masturbation Month is passé. I think the writer must live on one of those splendid…
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Paul…Garland here. I think I’ll start you off with a heavy hitter. Give you some feed for your brain and heart. 😉 Viewing mutual masturbation as a form of sex between men and connection as a typical way we initialize the sexual game, what role do you think connection plays in our search for mutual masturbatory satisfaction? And what do you feel, in your experience, most men are seeking: sex without connection or sex as a means to a deeper connection with another human being who enjoys the same activity? Is sex without connection shallow and in your opinion (I know I’m sorta asking for a personal judgement call in light of your views and experiences) do you find that connection can be a dangerous territory when all we’re doing is stroking each others cocks?
The word, “connection” is a really subjective term with lots of meanings. What I mean by connection may differ from what you mean, and what we each mean now may change in different circumstances. It reminds me a little of the definition of “sobriety” in recovery circles. For some, abstinence alone equals sobriety. For others…
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little help?
I’m really good with a starting point. Not so good with a blank page… I frequently think, “I really should write something in my blog today,” and then the moment passes and the blog continues to age and fade… You can help. Please help. It’s very simple… Click the link near the top of the…
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Back to Basics
Where the hell have I been? Well, among other things, I’ve spent the last couple of months of refocusing and redirecting my efforts on the book. The Book… I’m calling it, “the book project.” It is most definitely a project and a half. I was really excited at the prospect of writing the whole thing…
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Poking
As in “poking my nose into my own blog for a change so you won’t think I died or anything… ” It’s an unfortunate tendency many bloggers have of starting things and then fading away. I don’t want to be that blogger. I love writing this thing… But there are times I get busier than…
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I’m not too tumblr savvy, other than scrolling through the endless pics… But I wanted to say some things. I’m 30 and have never had sex. I’m gay. I was raised in a very conservative Christian family, I went to a Christian college and even went to seminary for a gotten over just about every intellectual and spiritual hurdle to being gay, except for that very big one…actually having sex with another man. I love masturbating and lately have been clued in to some of the finer points of edging and “gooning.” One afternoon a couple months ago I masturbated for three hours–the longest I’ve ever done–and I experienced some wonderful things physically and emotionally. I’ve been reading your blog and I’ve looked over the Rain City Jacks website. I am planning some time soon to come to an event. I am very nervous about the idea but very excited. I hope to learn something about myself and other men, and of course to have a good time and get off. Just wanted to share. Thanks.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience here. I apologize if this is about a hundred times more response than you wanted… but here goes! I live in an unusually progressive (read, “non-conservative”) city. Being gay here is about as close to a non-issue as anywhere I’ve ever lived, and I love it, but it’s…
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Update
This is not a lengthy post. Sorry, my faithful minions… I just want to mention that movement on my book seems to have kicked into gear. The right people are falling into place, the right circumstances are appearing at the right times… It’s starting to look like this thing is really happening, and lots of…
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Meanings
I see three specific meanings that we generally apply to the word, “masturbation.” One contextual, one an objective action, and one euphemism. And of course there are many more. This is, after all, the most common sex our species practices, so there are myriad applications and twists on the word, but I have a theory…