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I can’t tell you how many times I have looked around the playspace during an event and wanted to capture it for myself and for the world. The issue is the absolute confidentiality of our members’ identities. The majority of our members are concerned about a coworker, relative or possible future employer encountering pictures of them not just naked, erect and masturbating, but doing so in a huge group of other naked, erect masturbators.

We’ve considered a photo-friendly event and polled our membership and the results are pretty much this: less than 10% are willing to be filmed or photographed in a group JO session. That reduces a group of 60 to a group of 6.

Some clubs have used masks or paper bags to do group photos, but the results are not representative of the experience. When we jack off together, we are revealed, exposed intimately to a diverse social group. There is no hiding inside a JO club. The presence of a mask is the opposite of that reality and defeats the purpose of taking photos.

My thought is this: The best way we could visually depict a jackoff club truthfully is by recreating it. This could be done by a good artist or film maker familiar with the reality of the scene.

I am actually starting a project now which will include the most accurate filmed depiction of a JO club we can make. We’re at the start of producing a 5-minute informational film about the JO club that will be funny, smart, explicitly sexual (hard cock, lots of stroking and plenty of cum) and as truthful as we can make it.

We are working on a deadline and plan to complete filming August and submit the final edited film to Seattle’s HUMP porn festival before the September 30 deadline. This will have enormous potential for raising awareness of the existence of JO clubs, as well as providing true info about us and even a little bate fuel.

We want to inspire—inspire men to try the clubs, inspire women to allow their men to explore the all-male play play options, inspire guys everywhere to imagine starting their own JO clubs, inspire gay and bi men to think beyond the hole and beyond the condom, inspire solosexual men to connect with others, inspire men who are not hunky porn-star-types to embrace their authentic impulses and be sexual as we are all built to be—and we want to entertain.

But cameras inside any JO club are strictly verboten. Here in Seattle, we’re working on a good alternative for you.

Watch this space.

I’m really not good with “why” questions. I always try to rework them into “how” questions but in this case, I’ll just answer the first part… 

OMG Yes! The same is very much true for me and I have no idea why. I love the sight and sensation of cum on my skin, and the more, the better. When I watch porn—and I have a taste for amateur JO porn—I love seeing cum spurt and land on a guy’s chest, stomach, thighs, nutbag… It gets me off big time. 

And the thought of multiple guys cumming “all over me” summons up two of my favorite JO club recollections (both on frequent replay in my brain).

The first is from my very first time at a JO club, the sadly now-defunct Chicago Jacks of 1990. I was in this dimly-lit room full of naked, masturbating men—finally realizing a long, long-held fantasy—and I was standing in the open and stroking myself, cock raging hard and pretty much in a continuous state of tight-balled edge. A cadre of men were all around me, very close and all jacking in my direction. I was experiencing the “new meat” welcome which I have happily bestowed upon many others countless times since.

I took my hands off myself and let others stroke me for a bit as I rested my hand at the very top of the buttcrack on one very lean blond guy straddling my left leg. I could feel his balls sliding back and forth against the fuzz of my thigh and his butt tightened as he suddenly shot his load on me. I felt an exquisite, warm flow of fresh semen blooming at the base of my dick and running down my own scrotum. In rapid succession, two more guys came on me, both squirting on my legs and then I felt a fourth load from behind hit my right butt cheek. I was the fifth orgasm and my cum squirted high up onto my shoulder and kept spurting on my chest and then my stomach, to then drip down my balls mingling with the blond guy’s initial load. This all happened pretty quickly but I could feel the universe slow down, the moment seeming to deepen and stretch out…

I stood there feeling the cooling moisture dripping down my legs and torso and burst into joyful laughter. I was 32 and had just had the most mind-blowing orgasm of my life. I had popped one load but the shared experience made it feel like I had had five orgasms myself. I was blissfully, stupidly happy. I hope I never forget that experience, that gift from four men I will likely never see again.

The second time was a few years ago at my own JO club, the Rain City Jacks. I had devised a group jackoff game which I turned into a club theme called “Countdown.” It was, for all intents and purposes, inspired by that incredible first experience at the Chicago Jacks. I was so blown away by the experience of multiple men cumming at nearly the same time, and cumming on me, I wanted to find a way to facilitate that for everyone at a JO club.

We had a DJ mixing music during all our events in those days, and on Countdown nights, we would add a voiceover track that literally counted down to a pre-determined “cum time.” We set three cum times 45 minutes apart so that multiple guys could play with edging and cum control and cum at or near the same time. These were pretty damn popular events and we held them every three months for a while (currently, we host a Countdown event only once or twice a year).

And, not coincidentally, one always fell near my birthday. This particular Countdown fell on my 49th. I confided in my friend Axel that I would love to have him cum on me at the 9:00 cum time. Axel was a tall, furry Swedish man who very much pushed all my happy buttons. He agreed with a smile and went off to play and enjoy the event. I knew he’d be there at the appointed moment…

Unbeknownst to me, he went around the room and invited a couple dozen other Jacks to join him in anointing me for my birthday, and as the 9:00 cum time approached, Axel found me and took me by the hand, leading me into an alcove spread with pillows and blankets, and he lay me down on the floor, right in the center. There were a lot of guys in there already and I knew exactly what was about to happen and my dick was raging hard in anticipation. I grinned stupidly at Axel, full of giddy gratitude as I essentially unwrapped my birthday present…

I lay down and these men all sidled up to me on their knees, some standing behind and above the first row and Axel straddling one leg so I could look in his eyes, but the scene above me was beyond anything I could capture in the best porn I’d ever imagined. Between 15 and 20 dicks were all completely erect being stroked above me in multiple tiers of height, all with the obvious intention of blowing cum on me. I recognized most of the guys but there were some new members in the mix too. Completely hard, lubed dicks were above my head and on both sides of my chest and a couple were pointed directly at my own greased-up dick which I was just occasionally giving a stroke, so completely on the edge I was… I was going to hold out for cum time if it were humanly possible.

The countdown was my own voice, and I heard myself giving the three minute warning. Then then two minute warning… and moaning started to increase as guys were getting close, preparing to give me my birthday gift. I felt waves of warmth coming off of all of these close male bodies stroking and writhing in pleasure all around me.

One minute to cum time and the moaning was getting louder. Just before the thirty second warning somebody gasped and let go of a load on my chest… then another man ejaculated on my leg and as the the ten-second countdown arrived, the moaning and gasping increased and at “ONE,” load after load began to rain onto my skin—covering my arms, my stomach, my shoulders and neck, my legs and feet and my dick and balls—blessing me with warm, liquid, male passion. I had to shut my eyes to keep the sperm from getting in them, but I managed to open them again to witness the moment.

Axel came hard and then it seemed everyone was coming and so was I, the orgasm pulsing all through my body, firing up my spine from my crotch and squirting out of my electrified dick. Again, I experienced a profound deepening, stretching-out of time as a few minutes seemed to become a long, timeless, groaning ecstasy. I was aware of many more voices in the room than those immediately around me, and I knew that there were layers of men watching and cumming all around us.

In that overwhelming moment, My pleasure was much more than sexual. I was full of joy. Love welled up in my center. I felt flooded with love and gratitude from this mass of men at the height of sexual heat. I cherish this memory as evidence of the power of social sex play.

I have to say this. “Why” this kind of experience is a peak experience, why I love it so much, why it seems to connect me so tightly in that moment with a whole crowd of men… “why” seems utterly meaningless to me. It simply is one of the most blissful moments I’ve ever experienced—a transcendent sexual moment in my life, right up there with the most intimate lovemaking I’ve experienced with any partner. It was a living thing that flashed for a few amazing minutes and then passed. It was just a profoundly sweet moment of feeling fully alive and receptive of the passion of many men.

I had a sense that these men were dousing me with gratitude for having made the moment possible, it was their payback for giving them a JO club, a place this could happen.

I’ve never repeated that moment, and I don’t try to replicate it, but I treasure it and I bring that memory of brotherly love, of absolute connection to many areas of my life. It opens up an awareness that unity is possible, even if for the briefest of moments. Maybe that’s the “why.” 

I masturbate in the steam room and sauna with pretty much anyone who wants to join in. I’ve been doing that for many, many years. BUT… I also am sensitive to the rights of guys who just want to enjoy the heat without the distraction of boners.

I am pretty brazen about masturbation. I don’t worry about being caught. I evaluate the appropriateness of each opportunity. My main concern is not infringing upon the rights of my fellow men in a public space. Public spaces require a heightened sense of decorum and consideration. My intent is not to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

But… When I’m horny, I assess the situation and the others around me and if the sight of my erect penis is welcome by all present, we can all expose our cocks and enjoy a friendly bate. It’s essentially the same rule I follow at any JO club: Nobody has to do anything they don’t feel comfortable about or with anyone they don’t want to play with. It’s basic manners, basic mutual respect.

For me, my sex life includes a lot of personal, partner-only and social pleasure potential. I get lots out of all of those experiences and I value them all highly. I consider them all fundamentally “good.” I bring my lack of shame about my dick, my erections and my ejaculations with me everywhere I go. That includes the hotter corners of every health club I’ve ever been in.

And I’m never the only one… just possibly one of the most brazen.

I also bring my better judgement with me. I don’t suck a dick or fuck a hole if I don’t know that dick or hole is reasonably assured to be free of STIs. That means I just JO in public. I love sucking dick like the honeybee loves the flowers… but I’m fortunate to also love the sights, sensations and energies of jacking off with my fellow man wherever the moment presents itself.

I’d be irresponsible to also include this caveat: one should never engage in sex of any kind with anyone, under any circumstances, including jacking off or just exposing one’s erect penis, without first checking out that there is full consent there. The fact is, public masturbation is a crime and being convicted of it means one is a “sex offender” which in most real life circumstances, can ruin your life.

Yes. You may say that.

I’m at the gym every morning, and I’m really struck by the different ways different men deal with being naked in the locker room. It speaks volumes about how they feel about their bodies, their sexuality, their penises…

I have enormous admiration and respect for the straight guys who feel confident enough about their bodies, regardless of what shape they’re in, to walk fearlessly without a towel or underwear around the locker room. Likewise, I hide my absolute disdain for the “boxer boys” who are so afraid of their own cocks that they have to wear underwear to the shower, who have developed great skill around keeping their penises out of sight. I don’t care how in shape a guy is, if he’s compelled to carefully keep his penis hidden in a locker room, I consider him a child, and unworthy of my respect.

I’m deeply grateful to include regular social sex play in my life. I’m frequently amazed to live in a time and place where such a thing is possible… I don’t take it for granted.

[You can file this one under “back to basics” or “duh.”]

I am a bator.

I am not a “model” bator. I am not a “pure” bator or an “addicted” or “compulsive” bator, but I am very much a bator. Here’s what I mean:

I love to masturbate and I embrace masturbation as an important part of my sexuality. For me, the word “bator” also includes a conscious intention to divest myself of all residual shame and embarrassment I may have learned as a child and now claim masturbation as a significant, positive aspect of my complete adult life.

The term “bator” was coined as a sex-positive response to the many derogatory terms previously ascribed to masturbators (“wanker,” “jag-off,” etc.) With the advent of social networks for masturbation lovers, it was natural that fans of masturbation would ultimately want to identify themselves in a way that offered a positive spin.“Bator” is short for masturbator, obviously.

I personally love many forms of sexual expression, all within the constraints of a life of experience. I am a fucker and a cocksucker and a top and a bottom. I am also a bator.

My experience of masturbation is a complete sexual experience for me. It has its own unique characteristics, sensations, challenges and rewards, but it is, in a very fundamental way, part of the bedrock of my sexual self. It is my claim of ownership of my own body, my demonstration of self-acceptance and self-love, my own ecstatic dance of simply loving my life, of gratitude for being alive today.

What started as a simple contraction of the basic term has grown into a point of pride and a badge of self-possession. It is also related to the term “Jacks,” coined in 1980 to describe social masturbators claiming the practice as a fully valid expression of sexuality—as sex in its own right rather than foreplay. At its core, it means, “I masturbate and it’s as valid a sexual experience, as fully satisfying for me as any other sexual expression.”

So I gladly and freely and proudly claim my place at the table of men among the bators. We have rejected the judgement of the narrow-minded and insecure and taken control of our own sex. It is not all we are, but letting go of society’s judgement and proclaiming it is part of reforming that society. It is a new and essential part of coming out. So today, I am again coming out:

I am a bator.

I’m wondering if anybody genuinely feels like being at a JO club is not strange at all. I’ve been to hundreds of JO parties myself, and I don’t just play, I run the events, think about them, write about them… I am deep in the experience but there is always an awareness that this is “strange.”

What I mean by that is that it stands apart from everything we know and accept and run our lives by in modern, civilized life. When I think about it, I am deeply connected to ways of speaking, dressing, interacting in countless situations; I have beliefs of all kinds based upon my upbringing, my nationality, my class, my job, my decades of life… I have a real idea of who I am and what I am, even if it’s just an illusion. It’s no more or less valid or invalid than anyone else’s idea of who they are.

And the group JO experience is one of those things that exists outside of some of the most core beliefs I have about myself and society. I think that’s a really, really good thing, but I don’t think I can abandon my conditioning to the extent that I would never find it somewhat strange.

For me, I lean on the knowledge that this is, indeed, a fundamentally good thing we do at JO clubs, fundamentally honest, positive, affirming, exciting, uniting… I know it in my bones.

And I know that many, probably most men, struggle with the strangeness for a long time. Many can’t reconcile it with their lives outside the circle jerk, What’s your experience? Please offer a comment if you have been to JO clubs and you have an idea of what I’m talking about here… I’m interested in your sense of the “strangeness” of being in a group of naked, masturbating men.

Please only comment if you’ve experienced a JO club yourself. Thanks.