It’s clear that I like images of hairy, macho guys. White guys with muscles and body hair and stiff, cut penises and I like to see them spend time masturbating, displaying their pleasure, getting lost and losing concern for how they sound or where the cum flies when they orgasm.

But all of my life, when encountering them out in the world, I’ve considered men like this to be absolute dicks. I would never give them the time of day or want to spend any time with them. I don’t even like having sex with them IRL. Yes, I experience a few moments of initial interest and flattery that they’re into me but it never takes long for me to lose interest. I don’t cum when I have sex with macho men.

In real life, where flesh meets flesh, I’m into variety and presence and energy above all. In real life, I like men who aren’t white. In real life, what matters to me is mutual engagement and a sense of joyful, shameless heat.

The only things that are consistent between my spank bank and real life is I need my penises erect and I’m not into fucking. If a guy can’t achieve an erection, I can’t sustain interest and will only continue out of generosity and for his pleasure, not mine. I will not cum with a guy who doesn’t get hard. I require that evidence of his pleasure to experience my own.

When a man has to fuck or more commonly, be fucked, I’m just not down for it. I’ve accommodated some guys but maybe once in a year or two will I achieve an orgasm this way and once I’m fucking a guy, it’s pretty much a guarantee I will not cum with him.

I like to touch and taste men. I like to use my hands and my mouth and be treated in kind. Yes, my hole loves to be touched but a finger is all I need and that only rarely. The thought of fucking is way more interesting to me than the reality.

And I’m also intensely attracted to fem guys who are totally who they are. If a man is hairy and sexually connected and also obviously, outwardly “gay” seeming, that’s a huge plus for me. I want to suck his cock and I want his mouth on mine.

Imagination is so exciting but once you get out of your head and into the real world of bodies and sensations and smells, it’s interesting how what works IRL can diverge from what we masturbate over in front of our computers. If you have a similar experience, consider that the next time you’re flipping through Scruff profiles.