My husband and I have several differences. One is libido and along with that, frequency of masturbation. He has to remember to masturbate. I have to regulate it to keep from overdoing it.

It started when a friend shared an article with me with recent data on frequency of masturbation. For my age group, (men age 50–59) I was, of course, in the top percentile of 6.4% of men who masturbate 4 or more times per week. (of course the 18% of men 18–24 claiming they have not masturbated in the past year calls the whole thing into question but let’s ignore that for now).

I am also, and I admit this freely, more than a little obsessive about all kinds of things. I am not a compulsive masturbator, really, but I am an obsessive organizer. I like to put things into order so as to achieve maximum effectiveness in everything. My masturbation practice is very much affected by that obsession.

I regulate my self-love so that I have a good balance of desire and satisfaction, and a regular and complete orgasm and ejaculation routine to keep everything working well. I achieve orgasm six to eight times per week, normally twice a day every other day. Most of that cumming is brought about by masturbating (solosex). I also have two or three group jack-off sessions a month, occasional blow jobs in the steam room and a few good fucks a year (not much, I know).

The every-other-day cycle of full release and abstinence keeps my testosterone engine perking nicely. Some days are simply for being horny and others are for satisfying that horniness.

The hard part has been stepping back from my decades-long commitment of always saying yes to penis. When my penis asked for attention, I would simply say, “Sure! Let’s go!” and happily tug my precious to paradise anytime. I had a similar approach to guys showing interest in me and my mojo. If they turned me on, I just went for it.

I know… That’s a big “if.” Fortunately for my partners, I have a reasonably broad taste in men.

But I digress. My point is this: I know I’m not one of these self-proclaimed “compulsive, addicted masturbators.” I think many of the guys who wear that identity like a badge of honor are just enthusiastic bators and edgers and not genuinely addicted (Don’t freak out… You can identify any way you like but I still get to call bullshit. Also, I believe there are actual masturbation addicts, just fewer than many of us think).

I’m just obsessive about most things and it serves me well. I think of it as a character asset rather than any kind of defect.

What difference does it make to you? Maybe none. But if you’ve been wanting bigger loads of cum, more desire or higher T, maybe you’re just jacking off a little too frequently and maybe there are systems you can put into place that will help you get what you want.

Or maybe I’m just bragging about my thriving sexuality at 55. Yeah, that’s probably it.