I have come to understand that shyness is a common quality among men who go to jack-off clubs. I’ve heard it so often from prospective members, I never thought to ask men who never mentioned it, but sure enough, it turns out that a venue where a large number of men are uniformly naked and masturbating cuts right through many of the specific obstacles that shy guys normally find intimidating. 

It makes a lot of sense to me. Shy men are often terrified of having to impress strangers with witty banter or displays of fashion sense, status or wealth. There’s often an idea that one must pretend to be someone else in order to win the attention, if not the affection, of someone appealing—a sense that there is an ordeal of social artifice one must pass through to get to what one desires. 

JO clubs level the playing field in many key ways: Everyone is naked, so there’s no need to spend time dressing to impress. Conversation is completely optional although simple courtesy is standard practice, and being naked makes class distinctions far less obvious. Add to these “social simplifications” the simple fact that everyone is immediately available for open sexual activity with and among all others present and all significant barriers for shy men turn out to be completely down. It is, in many ways, an ideal environment for the shy man… at least, the shy man who wants to share a masturbatory experience with other men. 

My guess, and it’s just my personal sense without any data to back it up, is that Jacks are more likely to identify as shy than not. 

I am not shy. I divested myself long ago of the notion that I generally need to impress anyone to have sex. Even so, I am not “bold” either. I am neither intimidated nor intimidating… at least not intentionally. 

But I was shy once. I remember all too clearly what that feels like, and I don’t mind being a generous ambassador for the club, offering a smile, a friendly touch and direct reassurance that every member is welcome and that we all want them to have a good time and want to come back. When guys tell me they want to come to an event but are shy I like to say, “That’s great! You should really enjoy the club. It’s perfect for shy guys." 

Have you been to a JO club and experienced what I’m talking about here? I’d love to read your comments.