I’ve been chatting with masturbators. Yes, I’ve also been masturbating with masturbators but that’s nothing new. I’ve been having good, focused conversations with men who go to jack-off clubs about jacking off with other men. There are important differences.

Talking and having sex with someone are very different experiences. I can hear a collective “Duh!” arising from across the blogosphere… I have been sharing masturbation with other men for many years but this sharing about masturbation is so different. For one, I’ve begun to see patterns in aspects of our lives, and I also experience the return of unrequited sexual tension, since our penises remain securely in our pants while we speak very frankly about what we do with them.

And I have never experienced a jacker interview become a JO session. If I were falsely modest I might assume this is because they got to know me too well to be turned on, but I think familiarity is only a moderate anaphrodesiac in short time spans. There is a level at which we just want to talk and not release tension. I have long suspected that we share a deep drive to feel desire, not the cessation of that desire. Orgasms are great but it’s the build-up that is the real goal… A significant conversation is like that, but without any disappointment for not having consummated the experience. 

What I come away with is a sense that these conversations are important and rare. The mere act of talking frankly about something we almost never talk about at all just integrates the experience in multiple levels of consciousness. I want to do a lot more of these interviews. I also want to do follow-up interviews to learn what the effect of the interview itself may have been.

I’m getting to know jackers in a new way, and I think this is expanding my understanding of myself, not only as a jacker myself but as an individual. The patterns I notice in my interviews are similarities I see in myself. Even so, I think I’ll do quite a few more before I start publishing any specific observations. It would be dumb to poison the waters.

So. Anybody reading this want to sit down with me and talk about what it’s like to masturbate with other men? I think I have an opening in my calendar…