There’s a saying, attributed to Mormons, regarding the way they reveal the secret knowledge of the church to new elders: “Milk before meat." 

It’s sort of like, "You’ve got to crawl before you can walk,” but it’s more about communication than achievement. “Milk” is the easy stuff, the part that’s safe to tell children, for instance, or the naïve. “Meat” is the difficult truth, the deeper, more complex knowledge underneath the easy stuff.

In the case of Mormon (and I apologize in advance for insulting you if you’re a sheep in that particular flock) the “meat” is all the bat-shit stuff about the planet Kolob, and the whole interplanetary fantasy reeking of Scientology… At least the Muslims put all the crazy out there from the start. The Mormons hide their most outrageous beliefs until one is ostensibly ready to believe it…

What the hell does this have to do with sex? Well, you know I’m getting to that… I always do.

Guys who go to jack-off clubs regularly get it when I say that it’s not just jacking off. I don’t have to tell anyone what it’s about if they’ve embraced it. Instead, I ask them. “Why do you come back?” “What do you get out of the Jacks?” Of my volunteers, I ask, “Why do you serve the club?” or, “What does the club mean to you?”

Although I do hear it, the least common responses are about getting off, hot guys, loving penis or even loving the jacking off. By far, the majority of responses are about feeling connected, understanding themselves, understanding men, accepting their bodies, accepting aging, feeling compassion, feeling a spiritual connection, a sense of holiness, of mental expansion, of personal growth and healing. One guy calls the club “temple.”

Not everyone experiences that, but I do hear it a whole hell of a lot from the guys who return and attend events regularly over time. They are getting a lot more from the club than just an orgasm and an emptied nutsack. They are feeling fed personally. There is a whole lot there that is incidental to the mansex.

Or is it actually the true substance of group JO itself? They come in the first time for a variety of reasons, almost all of them about sexual hunger, horniness, fascination with cock, cum, men, and particularly with beating off with other men. We don’t indoctrinate them along the way with some social dogma about brotherhood. That stuff comes from the group itself. I believe it is a natural product of men being positively and socially sexual. It’s a different kind of dynamic than solo sex or partner sex, which have their own unique rewards beyond the sexual experience itself. 

And as the guy who runs it, I don’t generally stress the meat of the matter. I do mention it, but I know that what brings a new member to the club at first is horniness, fascination with cock and probably a long-denied desire for this particular kind of play. I mention brotherhood, but it’s the penis that brings in the new guys. I trumpet the connections of the club, but it’s the erections that are the focus for the prospective member. I know something about how you guys think… How the sex craziness takes you over and motivates you, even in subtle ways, and how you love that feeling of being driven.

So I will always put the sex first in the general club communication, but once you’ve been around a while, you know there’s more to it. A lot more.

I would love to hear from you about your experience of finding greater value at a JO club, or if you think I’m full of shit and it’s all about the dick…